Buenos dias la banda Loca - 

Well today it is flipping raining - the lady in the radio told us last night it was going to rain, but she has said that everynight this week so we thought she was joking!  

It doesn't matter though because today we are going out of the campsite to look for a new TV ........ hally-fecking-loo-ya :-)  You know us, we are not dogs to complain about anything, but if we have to sit one more night listening to mum and dad talking about stupid boring stuff we are all going to head straight for the fake depression ........... we miss the TV!  It is how we learn stuff and you know what they say about the brain .....'use it or lose it'

Thank Goodness we are going out because we don't know what the feck we would do in our HoW all day in the rain with two human beans - they take up so much space!  We have a really good routine going here ....normally, they go cycling in the afternoon for 2 or 3 hours and we have the place to ourselves to relax and chat about stuff they don't understand!  Don't get me wrong, we are always delighted to see them coming back but those few hours peace are very important to dogs.

So hopefully, this time tomorrow we will be watching Jeremy Kyle and Judge Judy yoooooooooooo ........ Dad said it won't be like that because there is lots of stuff we need before we can see UK TV ...... but how hard can it be - it's something to do with sat-a-lights or something - Alfie said they are big things up in the sky with all the TV programmes in them - all we need is a sat-a-light receiver to sit on top of our HoW - it magics the TV programme we want down from the big one in the sky and puts it on our tele ...... simples!  My dad makes really over complicates stuff sometimes!

Anyway, I will keep you informed how we get on ........ our immediate problem is how we are going to get out for our number 1 and 2's in this rain!  The others are quite excited about getting covered in muck up in our field but I am not so keen - I HATE getting my paws dirty - I may just have to do my ablutions inside :-)  hee hee that'll start a right Holy Show :-) 

Hasta manana mis amigos mejores 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Before I begin this morning I just want to take a wee moment to thank all my wonderful gang for their support of my blog.  I know a lot of you would still just prefer facebook (and to be totally honest so would we sometimes because it is much easier) but the bosses of facebook seem to be making all sorts of changes that most of us don't understand ........... more on this later in the blog .....

Anyway ........ I love Spain :-)  We are having the loveliest time - I do miss my family and friends at home but it really is great here.  I also really miss the free food man and I hope he doesn't forget about us - I sometimes worry that he is going to our house every Monday with our free food and we are not there - I hope Lesley Anne and Robyn are being nice to him! 

Speaking about LA (Lesley Anne) and Robyn - they were telling mum the other night on the phone that those ginger feckers have taken over my house.  LA said they are in ALL the time now that we have left - they are sleeping just wherever they feel like and have even been inviting their mates in for dinner!!  Robyn said there were two strange moggies in our utility room the other day, feeding their ugly mugs on Willie and Nelson's food!  That will all have to be sorted when we get home!!! 

Oh you remember our La Banda Loca member, Lee, who wrote an article about me and a general one about dogs - well he has written a letter to the boss of facebook because they are being a big bit bold!  Now, I don't really understand what is going on but it appears they are trying to get public figure pages (like ours) to pay for advertising so that all their followers will actually get to see their posts - Mum said this explains why we are getting lots of messages from gang members saying they hadn't seen one of my posts for ages .......... I fear the boss of facebook might need a dog to pee on his bed - or give him a nip on his knackers!!!  

I have put the link in for you to read - if, like me, you don't really understand just smile politely and nod profusely (that makes people think you understand every word :-) (the link is at the bottom of my blog).

Lastly for today - you know the way we aren't allowed to bark - well it appears that not all other dogs have this rule!  We were outside yesterday sunbathing, minding our own business, when this wee tiny dog walked past with his mum.  Well, he opened his little gub and barked like a mad dog at us. We all tried sooooooooooo hard to follow the rules but the temptation proved too much and we all started barking like mad dogs in return - oh my friends, the poor wee thing almost shat self - he literally jumped into his mum's arms - he clearly hadn't seen my donkey dog sisters when he started his rant :-) :-) 

Ok, I gotta go now - breakfast is ready and then I have some serious sun to enjoy ....  ahhhhhhhhhhhhh me gusta mucho Espana :-) xxxxxxxxxxxx

My mum is absolutely defeckinglighted at the moment - you will, I am sure, remember the amount of stick Dad gave her when she drove into the side of our house (twice) by accident.  (We still aren't even positive it was her fault but anyway ....) 

Yesterday, big Mr Smartie pants, I never crash Malcolm (dad) drove into a corner post at the end of our road :-)  :-)  The boss's of our campsite had even painted it red and white as a warning to people to watch out for the corner!!!  (To the best of my recollection, no such big feck off red and white warning sign appears at the corner of our house!!!!!) 

The crunch was deafening ...... Dad said the really bad 'f' word that rhymes with luck ..... I was in my 'wee Loca bed' at mum's feet and she looked down at me and we exchanged the smuggest, most satisfied grin EVER!!! 

Mum:   'Oh whoops Malcolm, I think you might just have hit that enormous, brightly coloured, corner warning sign'

Me:   'Oh dear dear dear Dad, I fear mum may be correct - Did you not see it? ..... it's massive - I don't know how you could have missed that .... a wee 'accidental' mistake p'raps?'

Lucy:   'My neck is sore - think I have the whip lash - can somebody phone my solicitor'

Dad:  <a definite shade of puce> 'This is all your bloody mothers fault'

All of us: 'WHAT????  how in the name of all that is Holy can this possibly be her fault'

Dad:  'If she hadn't wanted to go (lots of bad words) Christmas shopping this would never have happened'

Mum:  'It's ok pups, if Daddy needs to blame mummy for his horrendous mistake, that is ok ....... it's awfully hard for a man (like your father) to make such a dreadfully silly mistake and make such a fool out of himself in front of, not only his nearest and dearest, but the rest of the campsite' :-) :-) :-) 

So there you have it La banda Loca - definitive proof that there is a God and, if you can, on occasions, be a bit self -righteous, he will give you a great big massive karma kick in the goolies :-) :-) 

Morning everyone the new veg-a-tear-ean Loca here and a great deal healthier I feel for it.

Our English next door neighbours left this morning and a great big motorhome has moved in next door and that reminded me of a story I forgot to tell you about our journey down. We were kind of in internet incommunicado at the time.

Anyhow. We had stopped to overnight at a HOW (That’s a House On Wheels to any newbies) overnight stopping place. No caravans or any of those sort of not HOW things are allowed. Now in Irish terms we have quite a big HOW but when we drove in here we were like everyone else’s little brother as most of the HOW’s were huge,

Dad looked about for the smallest one, which was still bigger than us,  and parked beside it to try to take away some of the bad look. We had a little walk (on a lead might I add, much to our displeasure) and settled down for the evening.

About an hour later another HOW arrived and this one was as big as a bus and was even towing a car nearly as big as us. As fate would have it the guy decided to pull up right beside us just as Dad was outside hitting our awning with a brush to try and get it to unstick.

Dad watched this monstrosity park up and the driver looking as smug as a dog with two tails looked over at him in a ‘Having mechanical problems with your little camper?’ kind of way’ and then to add insult to injury swiftly followed that look with a ‘Watch this and weep’ one.

At that he leant over and flipped some switch and up from the roof rose this gifeckingnormous satellite dish which then began to rotate.

The guy had a self satisfied smirk on his gub as he looked down at Dad leaning on his brush/awning manipulating tool and we all watched this dish go round and round.

I saw a smile slowly growing on Dad’s face as it kept going round and round for it now appears this was a ‘self seeking satellite dish’ and much to Dads delight it wasn’t self seeking anything.

The smug look slowly vanished from our new chums face as his £2000 dish took on the role of a propeller and he flicked desperately at switches while the dish spun and tilted all over the show. His efforts were to no avail, and whatever it was looking for was not in the mood for being found and eventually the guy had to give up and lower the massive thing back down.

By now Dad was smirking from ear to ear and when the fella glanced his way Dad pointed at his brush and then at the retreating dish with a ‘Would you like me to whack it’ look.

So the moral to this story is ‘Don’t count your Self seeking satellite dishes before they self seek something’……………

See you all tomorrow

Well, I’m happy to report that the ‘turning’ incident has been sorted.  We discussed it last night again when everybody had calmed down and it has been agreed that Dad can have his 2 turns a night – just the first one has to be as soon as he gets into bed and the last one has to be first thing in the morning J

We had a wee giggle last night – Mum and Dad were drinking boozy stuffs and on our way back from our bedtime walk Dad took us all up to the wrong HoW – only the fact that Layla and Lucy were pulling on their leads deterred him from going on in – mum laughed so much she cried – we could just imagine the faces of our fellow campers if 2 strangers and 4 hairy dogs descended on them in the middle of the night – if it had been our non biking biker neighbours they would have thought we were invading them hahahahahaha 

Oh my hairy word – I had the most awful realisation yesterday.  Alfie and I were out for a walk with mum and this guy drove past us on one of those wee moped things with 2 wheels and he was holding a poor wee dead bird upside down.   We all said ‘ahhhh poor wee thing’ but then, oh my friends you aren’t going to believe this, mum said …………. ‘looks like somebody is having chicken for tea’  WHAT??????  Nobody ever told me that a chicken was a bird!!  Why have I not been told this??  I have been eating chicken, happy in the belief that it is made in Asda and it turns out I have been eating a fellow animal.  I am disgusted with myself and am, from this moment on, a veg-a-tear-ean!!  I am going to stick to sausages from here on in as my favourite food and cream with cake of course – both of those things are definitely made in Asda!!  If it turns out cream with cake is some sort of weird animal I am going to shoot self!!

Anyway, aside from that wee hiccup, we really are loving our trip and, better yet, it is only 10 more sleeps until Santa Paws comes J  I’ve emailed him to ask him to remove the 10 chickens I had asked for and to replace them with 10 packets of sausages.  I can’t actually believe that he brought me chicken last year – clearly nobody has ever bothered to tell him that they are birds either!!  Flip, I’m just thinking, this may well come as a shock to a lot of you guys as well – if so, I am sorry, but it is better that you know!

Of course, maybe my mum is wrong ………. Come to think about it – it didn’t look like any chicken I have ever had – it had fecking feathers on it and I think I would have noticed if I had been eating them!!  Oh dear, I am now a bit confuddled – Dad has always told us not to pay too much heed to anything mum reports as a fact until we have checked it out with him or Alfie has researched it on google!  Ok, let’s all calm down – I will get Alfie to look into this and report back on our findings asap …. In the meantime, I think it is safe for us all to continue to eat chicken so long as there are no feathers on it – I think!

Ahhh for fecks sake – if it turns out mum was wrong I am going to have to email Santa Paws again!!  He is going to think I am a flipping idiot …………