Ooops!!! My mum is absolutely defeckinglighted at the moment - you will, I am sure, remember the amount of stick Dad gave her when she drove into the side of our house (twice) by accident. (We still aren't even positive it was her fault but anyway ....)
Yesterday, big Mr Smartie pants, I never crash Malcolm (dad) drove into a corner post at the end of our road :-) :-) The boss's of our campsite had even painted it red and white as a warning to people to watch out for the corner!!! (To the best of my recollection, no such big feck off red and white warning sign appears at the corner of our house!!!!!)
The crunch was deafening ...... Dad said the really bad 'f' word that rhymes with luck ..... I was in my 'wee Loca bed' at mum's feet and she looked down at me and we exchanged the smuggest, most satisfied grin EVER!!!
Mum: 'Oh whoops Malcolm, I think you might just have hit that enormous, brightly coloured, corner warning sign'
Me: 'Oh dear dear dear Dad, I fear mum may be correct - Did you not see it? ..... it's massive - I don't know how you could have missed that .... a wee 'accidental' mistake p'raps?'
Lucy: 'My neck is sore - think I have the whip lash - can somebody phone my solicitor'
Dad: <a definite shade of puce> 'This is all your bloody mothers fault'
All of us: 'WHAT???? how in the name of all that is Holy can this possibly be her fault'
Dad: 'If she hadn't wanted to go (lots of bad words) Christmas shopping this would never have happened'
Mum: 'It's ok pups, if Daddy needs to blame mummy for his horrendous mistake, that is ok ....... it's awfully hard for a man (like your father) to make such a dreadfully silly mistake and make such a fool out of himself in front of, not only his nearest and dearest, but the rest of the campsite' :-) :-) :-)
So there you have it La banda Loca - definitive proof that there is a God and, if you can, on occasions, be a bit self -righteous, he will give you a great big massive karma kick in the goolies :-) :-)
Yesterday, big Mr Smartie pants, I never crash Malcolm (dad) drove into a corner post at the end of our road :-) :-) The boss's of our campsite had even painted it red and white as a warning to people to watch out for the corner!!! (To the best of my recollection, no such big feck off red and white warning sign appears at the corner of our house!!!!!)
The crunch was deafening ...... Dad said the really bad 'f' word that rhymes with luck ..... I was in my 'wee Loca bed' at mum's feet and she looked down at me and we exchanged the smuggest, most satisfied grin EVER!!!
Mum: 'Oh whoops Malcolm, I think you might just have hit that enormous, brightly coloured, corner warning sign'
Me: 'Oh dear dear dear Dad, I fear mum may be correct - Did you not see it? ..... it's massive - I don't know how you could have missed that .... a wee 'accidental' mistake p'raps?'
Lucy: 'My neck is sore - think I have the whip lash - can somebody phone my solicitor'
Dad: <a definite shade of puce> 'This is all your bloody mothers fault'
All of us: 'WHAT???? how in the name of all that is Holy can this possibly be her fault'
Dad: 'If she hadn't wanted to go (lots of bad words) Christmas shopping this would never have happened'
Mum: 'It's ok pups, if Daddy needs to blame mummy for his horrendous mistake, that is ok ....... it's awfully hard for a man (like your father) to make such a dreadfully silly mistake and make such a fool out of himself in front of, not only his nearest and dearest, but the rest of the campsite' :-) :-) :-)
So there you have it La banda Loca - definitive proof that there is a God and, if you can, on occasions, be a bit self -righteous, he will give you a great big massive karma kick in the goolies :-) :-)
RSS Feed